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West London Rhapsody

(An alternative report on the 2006 Putney Open)

 

Highlight of your life-

A contest in this Putney-

Circuit is one side-

The event after number three-

Event with no ties

An event held by P S C-

They're not a poor club, they do it for charity-

And it's entries come, entries go,

Not too high, not too low,

And now onto the action, let's look at the first se-mi,

Se-mi

Thomas, 'gainst the Italian man,

Fed's the team in red,

It's a shoot-out that's a dread,

Thomas, see what he's done,

Failed on shots, it doesn't go his way-

Thomas, ooo,

Missed the Russell final tie-

Sees David take the lead, but comeback follow-

Fed scores one, then 'nother one, and his goals don't flatter-

Though late, still time to come,

Russell proves a bind-

Sends the game into overtime,

Forza Federico-with him the flow-

In extra time sends the ball into net's roof-

Federic-ooo- (finally finds defence hole)

Next time going for the tri,

When Fed's in form, he'll punish you with the ball-

Pens, sheets of paper, that had been the plan,

No computer spreadsheets and all that daft Fandango-

Absent and late players-time is getting tight you see-

Alan Collins, Alan Collins,

Alan Collins, Alan Collins,

Alan Collins, computer-noooooooo-

The first goal of Putney, Thomas 'gainst Baffone-

First goal of Putney, not the way supposed to be-

The first of the shocks here in this big city-

Seeds will come, seeds will go-, let's see how the seeds go-

Last six-teen! Oh-, Craig Hew-ard, lost by one goal-out he go-

Last eight now! Jeff Jordan, lost by one goal-out he go

Steve Haw-kins! Lost to Lauder-out he go

John Brand lost to Fed, out he go

Last four, Dave Lauder, out he go

Eight, o, o, o, o, o, o-

He let in eight, he let in eight and then Dave Lauder had to go-

And then the final, Russell was to lose 2-3, 2-3, 2-3-

West London open at Putney, the second try-

Some people use the internet to spread a lie-

Eh Burnsie-You talk so much pish Burnsie-

Just sort it out, gotta get your skill to read up a tier-

eFlicker didn't mention,

GP South Queensferry,

The only thing mentioned-, was the GP English entry,

(Hypocrisy's not very bold...)



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